How to Deal with Conflict Quickly

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

James 1:19 (NIV)

How do you deal with conflict quickly?

I’ll tell you, but you’re not going to like it. The solution to resolving conflict is confrontation.

That’s right; if you’re going to resolve conflict, you must confront.

You don’t have to confront in anger, though. In fact, you shouldn’t confront in anger. Lovingly go to the person and, speaking the truth in love, deal with the problem immediately.

In James (1:19), we’re taught three rules for confrontation: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

If you do the first two, the third one is automatic. If you’re quick to listen and you’re slow to speak, then you will be slow to anger.

What are you listening for?

You listen for the hurt in that person. Hurting people always hurt other people. When someone is being a jerk, more than likely, it’s because that person is hurting. When you understand their hurt, you have a better understanding of why they do what they do, and you’re a little more patient with them.